What is ILT?
If you are reading this, the chances are that you have a child who is struggling at school. Maybe he or she is finding it difficult to master skills such as reading, writing, maths or spelling. Maybe he or she can do all these things but comes home with reports about unfinished work, or work left at home.
The teacher complains about her being disorganised, untidy or even aggressive towards other children. Or maybe she is described as being unfocused and a daydreamer who never seems to listen. And maybe you agree with the teacher because you see the same behaviour at home.
Labels such as ADHD, Dyslexia, Auditory Processing Problems, Sensory Processing Disorder are mentioned. What’s going on?
Is your child having trouble falling asleep? This seems to be a common problem – especially around the ages of 10 – 14 and one that worries parents as we all know that children need to get a proper night’s sleep.
The literature available suggests that one of the more successful approaches to the problem is to ensure a bedtime routine. This is especially effective if a child’s sleeping problems can be traced back to habits the child has developed that interfere with good sleep.
The first step would be to check to make sure your child’s routines are sleep-friendly. For example, one of the best ways to ensure healthy sleep is setting a consistent wake-up time and sticking to it. The wake-up time doesn’t have to be exactly the same time every day, but it should be within a two-hour window.
Although it may seem helpful to let children sleep in on the weekends, it actually disrupts their internal clock. That makes it much tougher to get back into a weekday sleep routine on Monday. Sleep deprivation then gets worse during the week.
Also, consider your children’s use of electronic devices before bedtime. Many tweens and teens have televisions and computers in their bedrooms. They keep their cellphones close by at all times. These devices can make it hard to disengage from stimulating activities.
For the best sleep, children should turn off all electronic devices at least 30 to 60 minutes before bedtime. This gives the brain time to relax and wind down, making it easier to fall asleep. It is strongly recommend that computers and TVs be kept out of a child’s bedroom. It is best for cellphones to be shut down and stored in another room at night.
Children should avoid any food or beverages that contain caffeine or sugar at least two to three hours before bedtime. Daily exercise and other physical activity can aid sleep. But have them finish those activities at least two hours before he goes to bed. Also, even if they are sleepy during the day, encourage them not to nap. Naps do more harm than good when it comes to getting good sleep because they often make falling asleep at night harder than ever.
For some children, when they lie down at night worries and concerns creep into their minds, making it hard to relax and fall asleep. To help clear their minds, it may be useful for them to take a few minutes before bedtime to write down anything that’s on their minds or tasks they need to do. Once they are on paper, sometimes children are better able to let their concerns go and get to sleep more easily.
Although it is not a common condition, another source of a child’s problem could be a sleep disorder related to the workings of his internal, or biological, clock. The most common such problem with tweens and teens is called delayed sleep phase syndrome. Children who have this sleep disorder are “night owls.” According to their internal clock, their day is longer than 24 hours. As a result, they tend to fall asleep at progressively later and later times each night and then have difficulty waking up in time to go to school.
It is important for your child’s sleep problem to be addressed. Too little sleep can make it hard for a child to concentrate and pay attention at school. It can lead to mood swings and irritability, and can increase a child’s tendency to accidents.
Try to first address any habits that may be interfering with your child’s sleep. If changes in bedtime habits don’t help, make an appointment to see a sleep specialist in case he or she has a sleep disorder.
The content of this post was sourced from the Mayo Clinic.
How can I help my child become emotionally strong?
These days, many parents are concerned that children seem to be emotionally immature. They want instant gratification, they demand entertainment rather than managing ‘own time’, they find it difficult to sustain attention, they are easily frustrated and act out their emotions rather than controlling them. Can you help change this?
Remember that your child was born with the desire to be the best person possible, to grow up and do what she is best fitted to do, to be healthy and happy. For this to happen, she needs to develop physically, mentally but also emotionally. Your job is to give her the opportunity to meet her desires.
Parents play an important role here. In the first place, you should be aware of the different factors that can affect her during the growing years. You also need to realise that she will meet obstacles along the way – either stemming from herself or from her environment. For example, she may show a reluctance to try new things which could be the result of criticism or being compared with others. You’ll need to know how to act to help minimize negative things and maximize the positive.
Let’s start with the most basic factors that a child needs in order to develop to full potential.
Obviously children need shelter, food and clothing in order to thrive. After these, health is an important factor. Being healthy helps a child face problems more vigorously while ill-health can have negative effects. During illness, children become less active and muscles may lose some tone leading to fatigue and even arrested development. Illness makes children irritable and anxious and they may show this with temper tantrums. Being frequently ill may be the starting point for problems such as picky eating and behavioural difficulties. Chronic diseases (epilepsy, diabetes) may cause emotional instability by having to be heavily dependent on family members. More minor conditions such as eczema or allergies cause physical discomfort, affecting emotional control, concentration and the lack of will to persevere with something or complete a task.
Malnutrition and lack of a balanced diet can also lead to low energy levels which in turn will limit curiosity, a will to explore and be independent.
Side-effects of these conditions may include shyness, depression and anti-social behaviour which will impact on her emotional development.
A happy childhood isn’t necessary a guarantee of success in later life but it certainly provides a good foundation for success. Happy children are normally healthy and energetic. Happiness in itself is a strong motivation to do things and it seems to help children face obstacles with calmness and a lack of fear. It is also a habit, so happy children very often grow up to be happy, optimistic adults. Being happy and projecting cheerfulness also helps social relationships, which is a huge boon as children need to interact with others for good social-emotional development.
Unhappiness, on the other hand, drains a child’s strength and energy and can also affect general health. It stifles motivation, leads to withdrawal and self-occupation which in turn prevents children from learning from experience. Temper tantrums and difficult behaviors are more common in unhappy children. Generally, happy parents tend to foster happiness in their children so your attitude plays a role as well.
Your feelings about being a parent and the role you adopt as a parent are important. Here are some ways to ensure your attitude is positive:
- Build confidence and self-acceptance in your child by being confident and accepting of her. Don’t have unrealistic expectations of her and hold idealized wishes for a ‘dream’ child.
- Set realistic goals to try to avoid failure and keep self-esteem high.This means helping your child know her own strengths and weaknesses – without harping too much on the weaknesses – so that she develops self-understanding. It is important that she knows about possible limitations.
- Help her develop her individuality by providing opportunities for learning and experiencing different things. Watch that you don’t overdo this as children need time out from activities to play and interact with their families. Also watch your timing. Don’t expect her to enjoy, master or learn an activity if she is not developmentally ready for it.
- Often a child reaches a temporary plateau in her development.Don’t be misled into believing that she has reached her limit. It may be that with a little encouragement from you, she could advance further.
- Teach your child to relate to and be aware of others. She needs to learn to make friends. Model empathy for others as well so that she can learn compassion too. Happy, healthy children show empathy quite early on in their lives. And if unsocial behaviours are noted, don’t ignore them. Try to correct these before they become habits and possible lead her to being excluded from her peer group.
- Be careful not to stereotype male and female roles. These are found to stunt personal development – especially if they include beliefs about superior male and inferior female roles. Each child, regardless of gender, has to be encouraged to reach his or her own potential, without guilt or apology.
There are three main components of personality: emotionality, which is a tendency to become upset or distressed easily; levels of activity, which children show in terms of amount of movement, speed of talking or amount of energy put into any activities and restlessness; and sociability, the searching out for social contact and preference to be with others and sharing activities.
Your child will show a mix of these three components in varying amounts. It will be possible to note that your child has a bias in one or more direction, being more emotional, more active or more sociable. Emotional babies cry a lot and are hard to sooth; active babies don’t sleep very much and are restless; sociable babies respond to cuddles and being easily quietened.
Your job is to accept any of these traits shown in excess but also to encourage your child to move in the direction of the other two. Emotional children need reassurance, support, guidance and help in dealing with strong emotions so that they can feel secure and less emotional. A child who is always on the move can be helped to slow down by you showing lots of attention and gentle restraint. Playing games with an active child can encourage her to concentrate and increase attention span.
A good parent
- Supports the child at all times but does not indulge or allow over-dependency
- Can be depended on by the child; you need to be consistent and predictable
- Is reasonably permissive and giving within firm boundaries; use your own sense of values and don’t simply follow the herd if you disagree with society’s current practices
- Is fair in discipline; be sure the child knows the boundaries and consequences for challenging them
- Respects the child’s individuality
- Inspires love not fear
- Sets a good example and models expected behaviours
- Is companionable and does things with the child; sets time aside for this
- Is good natured most of the time;
- Shows the child affection and expresses affection as well; let the child know what her most loveable qualities are
- Is sympathetic when the child is hurt or in trouble and gives plenty of time to listen and help
- Encourages the child to bring friends home
- Is interested in and focused on making a happy home
- Grants independence appropriate for the child’s age
- Does not expect unreasonable achievements
Dr Miriam Stoppard
Food allergies in children are more widely recognised and treated than food intolerances. Yet foods that a child’s body considers to be unfriendly and possibly harmful can and do cause all manner of undesirable, difficult to handle behaviours. The realization of this has dawned very slowly among many professionals and there are still medical people who find it hard to believe that such a wide variety of behaviours can be due to the food we give our families.
Food intolerances affect not only behaviours and general health. Symptoms may not only be seen in ailments such as headaches, rashes and asthma but also in, for example, low muscle tone which may in its turn negatively impact coordination, handwriting, reading, speech, bladder and bowel problems.
One of the pioneers who paved the way to our current understanding is Sue Dengate. If you’re interested, she has a brilliant website at www.fedup.com.au which makes excellent and informative reading. She designed the Failsafe diet, which has helped many food sensitive children around the world.
Here is a concise list of behaviours compiled by Sue that may indicate an intolerance to one or more foods:
Inattentiveness, forgetfulness, unexplained tiredness, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, depression, panic attacks. Such children may be diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD.
Irritability, restlessness, inattention, difficulty settling in to sleep, restless legs, night waking, night terrors. Such children may be diagnosed with ADHD including hyperactivity.
Losing temper, arguing with adults, refusing requests and defying rules, deliberately annoying others, blaming others, touchy and easily annoyed, angry and resentful, spiteful and vindictive; kicking, biting, hitting, spitting and punching. Such children may be diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD).
There’s quite a lot of hype going around about the miraculous effects an omega-3 supplement may have on a child’s ability to learn, attend and behave appropriately. There is no doubt that these oils are needed for building the brain in young children and having it function well throughout our lives. We know how the brain utilizes the oil so it seems logical that having too little may negatively affect the brain. Yet the evidence for supplementation isn’t consistent.
For example, research from the University of Oxford in 2008 found that dietary supplementation with Omega-3 improved both reading progress and behaviour in children from the general school population who were struggling with reading. Disappointingly, the same research team duplicated this study in 2018 and this time found no evidence that Omega-3 helped or improved the reading ability or memory of underperforming school children. The results were entirely different.
Contradicting this recent finding are two further studies. One, published in 2016, was conducted by the University of Sweden and found that children with attention problems may be helped sin their reading with the addition of these fatty acids. In particular, they found significant improvement in the children’s ability to read a nonsense word aloud and pronounce it correctly and read a series of letters quickly.
The second study, reported in 2018 in the journal, Aggressive Behavior, found that children taking omega-3 over a year showed decreased psychological aggression and improved behaviour, effects that seemed to encourage less fighting and arguments between caregivers. This is the first to suggest that improving child behaviour through Omega-3 supplementation could have long-term benefits to the family system as a whole.
It seems sensible to address this somewhat contentious issue with caution especially as good Omega-3 supplements are expensive. Certainly personal experience by ILT practitioners shows that some children benefit markedly by regular, long-term supplements of Omega-3 as well as eating more foods containing this oil. Others show less dramatic improvements.
We cannot always blindly believe research studies but if your child shows unusual difficulty in learning, consider first whether or not she shows some signs of Omega-3 deficiency. These include:
Soft, brittle or easily frayed nails
Scaly, ‘crocodile’ skin
Cracked skin on heels or fingertips
Chicken skin bumps on backs of upper arms or thighs
Dry, unmanageable hair
Tiredness, weakness, frequent infections, lowered immunity (always sick) and allergies.
If you can’t afford supplements, encourage your child to eat cold water fish, such as snoek, pilchards, salmon, hake (but grilled or baked – not battered and deep-fried) and walnuts and pumpkin seeds. Flax seed oil is cheaper and not as strong-tasting as fish oil and can be hidden in smoothies, salad dressings, milk over cereals and so on.
To conclude, don’t expect that your child’s problems will miraculously disappear once you start on an Omega-3 supplement. Give it at least 4 months before seeing results. In addition, oil deficiency may not be the one underlying cause of the child’s challenges. There may be other areas needing intervention. Try to have a comprehensive evaluation of all the factors that may be impacting on a learner’s ability to cope with the demands of school and life.
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